Saturday, 10 December 2011

My Beloved..

My heart wants to throw your image off from within and cast aside the heartless has deceived me.what has my heart done to me.Now I’ll slowly bear those memories and the lights of hope that have been put off.i will cast off your memories slowly. you broke the traditions of love and oaths of desire.The moments of pain don’t pass,The throb of love does’t leave the heart,,you let me alone with a bevy of memories. wherever I go I find you.This broken heart is proud of the feeling called faith…That all the false dreams will crumble slowly…Will make me forget you slowly,my beloved…The wounds of love ‘ll heal slowly… My steps will stope gradually.your memories ‘ll fade gradually.

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Dealing with Death

Everyone deals with death in a different way. Death is a natural part of the life cycle and we all have to face it. Coping with death is never an easy task to do and no matter how much you prepare, it's always a very emotional and sad time but accepting the predictable doesn't have to be difficult if you alter your perception.

Some Tips:
Here are some tips which you can try to help you prepare for your loss
1.     People have a false perception of how they should react to death. Accept death by being open to feeling vulnerable. It is not necessary to be strong and sturdy.
2.     After dealing with a tragic loss, don't go into denial, this will make things worse for you.
3.     Grieve properly by going through the entire process. Accept death by allowing yourself the proper amount of grieving and time to deal with the many feelings you experience.
4.     Cry as often as possible. There is nothing wrong with crying. Let it out as much as you can. Bottling it up inside will also make it worse.
5.     Get mad. It is part of the grieving process, and you must go through it before you can accept death. Even if you are dealing with the thought of your own death, it is okay to get angry. You must get past this phase in order to accept death.
6.     Being alone in your time of loss is not healthy. Make sure you have the support of family and friends. If you do not have any family and friends available try to go out in public so that you are around people, but you don't have to talk to anyone since you don't know them.
7.     Open a dialogue and let people know that it is okay to discuss this touchy subject. Discuss death with your loved ones. It is impossible to stave off death by avoiding the topic. Be open and honest and let those close to you know how you wish to have your death handled.
8.     List your feelings about death. Free write every thought that comes to your mind. Whether it is the death of someone close to you, or your feelings about your own death, get your thoughts down. Ponder on the results.

Divorce after Effects

Your mindset and beliefs will play a big role in how you adapt and succeed in your life after divorce. When you are in the middle of the divorce process, it can be hard to imagine a life after divorce. Especially a fuller and rewarding life… you will get past all the lawful, fiscal and emotional aspects of divorce unbelievably and things will eventually get better. Looking forward with hope during the divorce process will help you cope with the stress of divorce.
Don't Panic! It might be natural but it’s not productive. If you let it to control your life then it can lead to make life so thorny after divorce.

Troubles and Tips:
The factors that mostly emerge after divorce are:
  • Grief of losing a person which was once closest of all will be really painful… However grief is a procedure not an endpoint.
  • Another chief crash of divorce is losing friends. Friends may perhaps decide sides or even left you both altogether. Finding new friends can lead you to new experiences and a renewed sense of purpose and enjoyment.
  • Married life often leads us to feel very stable & secure and we set long term goals in place. Divorce pulls that all apart. But it’s a part of life all goals are not meant to be met.
  • Divorce disrupts the whole family unit if you have children, you may have less time with the kids or if you have custody, you may have to adjust to the level of support you now have. Again managing a family after divorce is a matter of being flexible and adaptable and it can be done successfully. By making your transition and showing how life can go on, you will show your kids a new path and help them adapt.
  • Divorce is costly and divorced families are often more expensive to maintain. However keep in mind that money and happiness are not tied together.

Divorce is a process with an end and you can make it through and have an even better life after divorce. Divorce can present opportunities for new careers, going back to school or pushing your current career further. Divorce teaches us that life is disruptive and rarely remains the same. Many divorced parents have succeeded in raising good and productive kids under difficult circumstances and you can do that too.

Dealing with Divorce

There are a thousand reasons why people get divorced. Being objective in the center of the heart-hauling experience of divorce is difficult, if not impossible. Dealing with the healing process of emotions is one of the major issues one faces. Post divorce emotions can range from feelings of anger, ambivalence and self-doubt to shear relief. This takes both external and internal work to build a new life. Whatever you are dealing with either externally or internally, you need to develop certain skills to help you in your transition to a new life.

There is no healing without the belief that you can heal. Belief in ourselves is our greatest tool when it comes to moving through a time of hardship. Be patient, kind and loving with yourself. Push any self-doubt you have aside and believe in your own competence. If the odds seem against you, if you feel you aren’t going to make it, go against the odds. Develop discipline, push all negative self-talk out of your head and believe that you can become whom you want and live the life you desire. Try to share what you are feeling and experiencing emotionally with others. Moving forward with your life means having a willingness to take action… Start with baby steps and soon you will be moving forward by leaps and bounds. The emotional, familial, and financial challenges may seem to be overwhelming at first but time has a way of working things out for those who refuse to give up.  There is indeed life after divorce. Consider it a time of growing, stretching, and gaining needed insights.  Those who learn from their divorces are more likely to succeed in finding love again. Try to be as objective as possible. Taking responsibility for your own failures will make all the difference if you truly want to be happy again. The best thing you can do for yourself is to truly forgive your ex-partner and then go on with your life.

Life is for those who live it.  Get on with your life...One day you will look back and realize that all the sorrow and challenge you experienced during your divorce; gave way to some of your greatest accomplishment.

Working Women

Working women here are referred to those who are in paid employment.

With centuries the women has been rated as less important than men in almost all parts of the world. In fact, in some ways women’s responsibilities are to look after household and children. Women are discouraged from pursuing higher education or religious pursuits because women who engage in such pursuits might neglect their primary duties as wives and mothers.

It is an open truth that working women have to face problems just by virtue of their being women. Social attitude considers women fit for certain jobs like nurses, doctors, teachers the caring and nurturing sectors, secretaries or in assembling jobs-the routine submissive sectors. The age old belief of male superiority over women creates several hurdles for women at their place of work. A gender partiality creates an obstruction at the recruitment stage itself. The inbuilt conviction that women are capable of less work than men or less efficient than men governs this injustice of unequal salaries and wages for the same job. Women on the way up the corporate ladder discover that male colleagues and subordinates often expect much greater expertise and efficiency from a woman boss than from a male boss. Conditioned by social and psychological tradition women colleagues too don’t lend support to their own gender. Working in such conditions unavoidably put much greater strain on women than what men experience. These problems tend to make women less eager to progress in their careers. Indeed many of them choose less demanding jobs for which they may even be over-qualified. A woman’s work is not merely restricted to paid employment.
Women going to work are often subject to sexual harassment. The psychological pressure of all this can easily lead to a woman quitting her job. 

Nearly three fourth working women in cities fail to secure a daily sleeping time of eight hours during a week, and insomnia among women has become a common disease in cities, according to survey results.
She has to (almost always) shoulder the burden of household chores as well. A woman could still bear up with these problems if she had control over the money she earns. But in most families even now her salary is handed over to father, husband or in-laws. So the basic motive for seeking employment of getting independence is nullified in many women’s case. Problems of gender bias beset women in the industrial sector.
Most of the problems that beset working women are in reality rooted in the social perspective of the position of women. A fundamental change is required in the attitudes of the employers, policy makers, family members and other relatives and the public at large.

Marriage Conflicts

To solve a marriage problem, you have to talk with each other about it, choosing wisely the time and place.  But when accusations and lengthy speeches of defense fill the dialogue, the partners are not talking to each other but past each other.  Take care to listen more than you speak.  If you still can’t agree on a solution, consider asking a third party, without a vested interest, to mediate. (R.C. Sproul  The Intimate Marriage, P&R Publishing, 1975, p. 68.)

No marriage is free of conflict. That's because every couple is made up of two distinctly different people, with different experiences, interests and emotional predispositions. Regardless of the compatibility a couple creates in marriage, a husband and wife will always have somewhat different perspectives, and those differences will create conflict. Conflicts over money, careers, in-laws, child rearing, and a host of other common marital issues are part of the experience of being married. 

Some couples feel that if they could only rid themselves of certain conflicts, they would be happy together. But marriages can be terrific in spite of conflicts, even when some of them are never fully resolved. The difference between couples who live in marital bliss and those who regret ever having met each other is not found in whether or not they are free of conflict -- it's found in whether or not they are in love with each other.
Marriage is an area of our lives where effective planning is often regarded as unnecessary. Couples usually believe that they should be guided by their instincts whenever they have a conflict. Regarding emotional needs in a marriage, most spouses believe that couples should do for each other what they "feel" like doing. If there is no interest in meeting a particular need, it should simply go unmet.
Instinct also prevails in most couples efforts to resolve conflicts. Instead of resolving their marital conflicts by creating and implementing a well conceived plan, they revert to their primitive instincts -- demands, disrespect and anger -- to try to resolve their conflicts. These instincts not only fail to provide them with long-term solutions, but they also destroy the feeling of love. Because couples don't know any better, they keep using demands, disrespect and anger to try to resolve their marital conflicts until their love for each other turns into hate.
Create a plan to resolve your conflicts and restore love to your marriage. And then follow that plan. Insight into your problem is an important beginning but without action, insight is useless. 

Create a Plan
Sustained romantic love is a litmus test of your care and protection of each other. Care is nothing more than meeting each other's important emotional needs and protection is accommodating each other's feelings in what you do each day. Your marriage will be passionate and fulfilling if both you and your spouse create and follow a plan that guarantees care and protection. It's well worth the effort.
Following sequence can guide your own personal plan to restore love to your marriage and to resolve conflicts:
  1. Make a commitment to just follow the plan
  2. Identify habits that threaten to destroy romantic love.
  3. Create and execute a plan that eliminates those identified habits
  4. Identifying the most important emotional needs.
  5. Learn to meet the emotional needs of your spouses